Update on First Week Here ....

Well .... I waited several weeks to come to this floor and the first week has totally wiped me out. I am exhausted. I knew it was going to be tough, but didn't think I'd be this tired. Come 7pm I'm ready for bed lol. There's no time to rest really except at night ...... I have physio in the morning around 1130am then in the afternoon around 2pm, in between I am expected to go to dining room for breakfast, lunch and dinner. They definitely keep you busy, then I have my dressing change and whatever other appointments in between.

So my most exciting news is that my tentative date to go home is February 20th. Could be sooner, could be later ... All depends on my progress. I will likely get a day pass at some point soon to go home and see how easy it is to move around the house. They said you normally get the pass for a day or couple hours, sometimes overnight. I'm hoping I get a pass soon .... I really wanna get home to my Munchie.

Since being here, I've had a few bad mornings. I ask myself why I'm so upset, and I don't have an answer. Just sometimes I feel very depressed and upset. I think a lot has to do with the fact that I've been in the hospital since November 22nd. I know it's great that I'm cancer free and that I was lucky enough to be given this second chance at life, but that doesn't mean I won't still have emotional and upsetting days. The last 2.5 months have been emotionally and mentally hard for me. I've been through a lot and something that most 29 year olds will never experience or most people of any age won't experience. I have my moments and don't get me wrong am very happy that I am where I am today, but I also have my down days. This path is not easy. The hardest part of this all is being away from my Munchie. I often think life isn't fair, why did this have to happen to me (not that I wish this on anyway else) but what did I do to deserve this shitty journey? I've asked my doctor this a million times and she tells me the same thing, to stop asking myself that question because I'll drive myself crazy. There's no answer and I didn't do anything to get this. This is life and for whatever reason I got stuck fighting this horrible journey. I can tell everyone one thing....this journey has opened my eyes to life ---- to never take anything for granted ever, not to sweat the small stuff (which I did far to often) and to cherish your loved ones and friends. I honestly don't know what I'd do without my family, specifically my mom and dean....they have been my side since day 1.... They are taking care of Alyssa for Dan and I when he works and they do everything they possibility can to bring Alyssa up to see me. Seeing my baby girl makes everything in the day better. I just facetimed with her before I started this and even though she was running away and playing hide and seek from me lol, she would come out and giggle with me and before we ended the chat she gave me a kiss on the screen. She melts my heart and she is the reason I push myself everyday in physio harder and harder .... I do it all for her .... Because she needs her mama home taking care of her like moms are supposed too. It's been almost 3 months ......

And Munchie mama is coming home to you in 17 days or hopefully sooner. :):):):):):):)

Aaaaannndddd we have a climber lol.