I don't know what I'd do without my mother .......

I had a rough night on Saturday ...... Out of no where I got upset and emotional. I was bbming with my mom and she kept telling me to shake it off and talk myself out of it. No matter what I did, I couldn't shake it off, it turned into a full blown anxiety and panic attack. It was hard to breath and I felt like I was going to pass out. My mom ended up coming up to sit with me and talk me out of it. She has a special way of calming me down. When I think back to what triggered it, I have no idea. I think I'm struggling with the fact that my life will never be the same as it was before. I know I'm lucky to have a second chance at life and lucky my tumour was able to be operated on, but it's upsetting knowing I won't have my old life back. My anxiety is something I'm trying to work on everyday......I really want to get out of this hospital and I need my physio to start progressing. I never thought physio would be this difficult, but it's turning out to be the hardest thing ever.

Comments

Feeling Pretty Good .......

TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 30TH 2014 @ 3:01PM: relaxing well munchie is sleeping HOW I FEEL: Awesome. Been rocking 1 CANE around the house for the last 2 days and I seem to have a little more energy this week. Well the most exciting news is that I have been rocking 1 cane around the house and feeling pretty damn good. I struggle a little on the carpet upstairs because it's not a flat surface; like the tile and hardwood BUT none the less I am still doing it. I haven't been brave enough to use one cane out running errands; MAYBE sooner then I think. This weekend I am going to go shopping for a new cane. Time to upgrade my granny silver cane to a pink one perhaps. So exciting! Soon I will have canes to match every outfit. hahaha yeh right. I also started acupuncture at physio yesterday; we are hoping that the acupuncture will help speed up the healing of my wound. In 2 weeks we should k...

YACC Retreat and Munchie's Birthday :):)

MONDAY NOVEMBER 24TH 2014 @ 3:00pm: relaxing and going to pick Alyssa up from daycare shortly HOW I FEEL : tired I've been sitting here for the last half an hour or so staring at this computer screen trying to decide where to start with this blog post. I have so much I want to share just unsure where to start. I guess I'll start here ---- 7 days ago I got the privilege of attending the Young Adults with Cancer Retreat in Cobourg. Dan and I got to spend 5 days there with a group of 35 AMAZING people. I was a little unsure of what to expect going to this but after speaking with people who had attended prior retreats and told me it changed their lives completely, I knew I had to go and see it for myself. The first day I found really intense; we sat in a circle all 35 of us and gave a brief introduction of ourselves and our journey. I remember that night when I went to bed I thought to myself ‘holy shit, th...

And so my anxiety begins .....

MONDAY OCTOBER 27TH 2014 @ 8:25pm: in bed watching 2 Broke Girls and eating chocolate mmmm lol HOW I FEEL : tired .... stressed out .... exhausted Sooooo like the title of my blogspot states .... My anxiety for my 1 Year checkup has begun. I know right? 1 year already since my surgery and since I was told I officially kicked Cancers Ass #screwyousarcoma #youwillneverwin. My appointment is next Tuesday - bloodwork, X-ray and appointment with Dr. Ghert....the usual process. For some reason my anxiety seems higher because I really want to say I've been 1 year Cancer free. I just get so worked up and I ask myself if these appointments will EVER get easier, I'm told not really .... The anxiety gets less and less but never fully goes away. Awhile back I had joined this Facebook group for individuals that have or had chandrosarcomas .... In the beginning it seemed pretty awesome, reading other people's stories (from all over the world) and sharing mine...

My Journey with Cancer

Search This Blog