I had a rough night on Saturday ...... Out of no where I got upset and emotional. I was bbming with my mom and she kept telling me to shake it off and talk myself out of it. No matter what I did, I couldn't shake it off, it turned into a full blown anxiety and panic attack. It was hard to breath and I felt like I was going to pass out. My mom ended up coming up to sit with me and talk me out of it. She has a special way of calming me down. When I think back to what triggered it, I have no idea. I think I'm struggling with the fact that my life will never be the same as it was before. I know I'm lucky to have a second chance at life and lucky my tumour was able to be operated on, but it's upsetting knowing I won't have my old life back. My anxiety is something I'm trying to work on everyday......I really want to get out of this hospital and I need my physio to start progressing. I never thought physio would be this difficult, but it's turning out to be the hardest thing ever.
FRIDAY DECEMBER 19TH 2014 @ 9:15am: dropped munchie off at daycare and I'm relaxing on the couch with a Starbucks and watching a Christmas Movie HOW I FEEL : wishing this cold would go away, it's been almost 2 weeks and I think it's overstayed it's welcome lol ACTUALLY it never was welcomed haha I just realized I haven't updated my blog since Alyssa's birthday; that's over a month ago. I'm horrible at keeping it up to date, I always say I promise I will get better at this but it hasn't happened yet. Maybe in the New Year ???? I can't believe Christmas is NEXT WEEK .... it doesn't feel like Christmas at all; maybe that's because our weather has been so bizarre the last few weeks and we don't have any snow. I've been doing a lot of thinking the last few days about where I was last year and how far I have come. This is a special Christmas for me because I get to be home with my family and Christmas morning I can...
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