I had a rough night on Saturday ...... Out of no where I got upset and emotional. I was bbming with my mom and she kept telling me to shake it off and talk myself out of it. No matter what I did, I couldn't shake it off, it turned into a full blown anxiety and panic attack. It was hard to breath and I felt like I was going to pass out. My mom ended up coming up to sit with me and talk me out of it. She has a special way of calming me down. When I think back to what triggered it, I have no idea. I think I'm struggling with the fact that my life will never be the same as it was before. I know I'm lucky to have a second chance at life and lucky my tumour was able to be operated on, but it's upsetting knowing I won't have my old life back. My anxiety is something I'm trying to work on everyday......I really want to get out of this hospital and I need my physio to start progressing. I never thought physio would be this difficult, but it's turning out to be the hardest thing ever.
FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 12TH 2014 @ 12:56PM: just got home from Physio, going to blog before I begin cleaning the bathroom lol HOW I FEEL: Pretty good; I rocked Physio today. Last night I met the HR ladies from work for dinner at Boston Pizza. It had been quite some time since we all got together, so it was nice to be able to reconnect with everyone and meet some of the new HR members of the team. I can't believe it's been almost 2 years since I've been gone from work .... YES YOU HEARD RIGHT 2 YEARS!!!!! I was expecting to return to work in October/November; however that idea has been kibosh-ed since I have this minor setback with my wound. I likely won't be going back until the New Year now :( I was really looking forward to getting some 'normalcy' back into my life. Especially after meeting with everyone last night, I realized how much I miss work; I never thought I would say I miss it, but I do. It would be different...
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