I had a rough night on Saturday ...... Out of no where I got upset and emotional. I was bbming with my mom and she kept telling me to shake it off and talk myself out of it. No matter what I did, I couldn't shake it off, it turned into a full blown anxiety and panic attack. It was hard to breath and I felt like I was going to pass out. My mom ended up coming up to sit with me and talk me out of it. She has a special way of calming me down. When I think back to what triggered it, I have no idea. I think I'm struggling with the fact that my life will never be the same as it was before. I know I'm lucky to have a second chance at life and lucky my tumour was able to be operated on, but it's upsetting knowing I won't have my old life back. My anxiety is something I'm trying to work on everyday......I really want to get out of this hospital and I need my physio to start progressing. I never thought physio would be this difficult, but it's turning out to be the hardest thing ever.
MONDAY OCTOBER 27TH 2014 @ 8:25pm: in bed watching 2 Broke Girls and eating chocolate mmmm lol HOW I FEEL : tired .... stressed out .... exhausted Sooooo like the title of my blogspot states .... My anxiety for my 1 Year checkup has begun. I know right? 1 year already since my surgery and since I was told I officially kicked Cancers Ass #screwyousarcoma #youwillneverwin. My appointment is next Tuesday - bloodwork, X-ray and appointment with Dr. Ghert....the usual process. For some reason my anxiety seems higher because I really want to say I've been 1 year Cancer free. I just get so worked up and I ask myself if these appointments will EVER get easier, I'm told not really .... The anxiety gets less and less but never fully goes away. Awhile back I had joined this Facebook group for individuals that have or had chandrosarcomas .... In the beginning it seemed pretty awesome, reading other people's stories (from all over the world) and sharing mine...
Comments
Post a Comment